Captain America: The First Avenger

Posted on by thecodeman92

The final film of the Marvel Cinematic Universe leading up to The Avengers, 2011’s Captain America: The First Avenger gave us the last piece of the puzzle. The origin film of the poster child for all-American wholesomeness is the only period piece in the MCU, taking place during the height of World War II, as Steve Rogers becomes the soldier he was meant to be in the fight against the Red Skull and his evil organization, Hydra. Not really much more of a plot than that, but a simple plot is sometimes the best. Disney made a good call in hiring Joe Johnston to direct the film, a man known for his period pieces (The Rocketeer) and his work with special effects (Star Wars – he’s the man responsible for Boba Fett’s appearance). Hugo Weaving is a man born to play a villain, just as Tommy Lee Jones is a man born to be a gruff, quick witted, curmudgeon. Giving Chris Evans a second chance to be a superhero paid off very well (I’m sure that everyone’s forgotten by now that he was the Human Torch in two Fantastic Four movies). Best casting of all though? Hayley Atwell. Ho…ly…shit. I fell madly in love with her after this movie. She was, and still is, one of my favorite actresses. I was so happy when I found out that she was getting her own TV series as her character from the film and I was so devastated when ABC cancelled Agent Carter. I’m still holding out hope for a Netflix revival at some point. At least give her a good sendoff.

Here’s the breakdown:

  1. Captain America tosses his shield: 6
  2. “Captain America” is said: 6
  3. Red Skull adjusts his skin mask: 3
  4. “Heil Hydra” is said: 18
  5. Howard Stark makes an appearance: 8
  6. Peggy violently takes someone down a peg: 2 (I wish it was more)
  7. Someone drinks: 14
  8. Hitler is mentioned: 5

Total: 62

So, with a total of 62 sips, and 23 sips per bottle, that comes out to 2.7 beers drank. As I do not waste beer, I round that up to 3. And as the runtime of Captain America: The First Avenger is 124 minutes, I drank at a rate of 0.5 sips per minute.

Here’s the running list of movies, ranked by amount of beer drank:

  1. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 5.78 (6)
  2. You Only Live Twice, 5.48 (6)
  3. The Spy Who Loved Me, 5.39 (6)
  4. Moonraker, 5.35 (6)
  5. Star Trek: Nemesis, 5.26 (6)
  6. Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 5.09 (6)
  7. Iron Man 3, 4.7 (5)
  8. Batman (1966), 4.65 (5)
  9. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, 4.48 (5)
  10. GoldenEye, 4.26 (5)
  11. Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 4.22 (5)
  12. Octopussy, 4.09 (5)
  13. Tango & Cash, 4.04 (5)
  14. The Fifth Element, 4 even
  15. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, 4 even
  16. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 3.91 (4)
  17. The World Is Not Enough, 3.91 (4)
  18. RoboCop (1987), 3.87 (4)
  19. X2: X-Men United, 3.52 (4)
  20. Tomorrow Never Dies, 3.48 (4)
  21. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, 3.48 (4)
  22. Blade, 3.35 (4)
  23. The Avengers (2012), 3.35 (4)
  24. Die Another Day, 3.09 (4)
  25. The Living Daylights, 3.04 (4)
  26. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, 3.04 (4)
  27. Skyfall, 2.96 (3)
  28. The Patriot (2000), 2.83 (3)
  29. Highlander, 2.7 (3)
  30. Captain America: The First Avenger, 2.7 (3)
  31. Star Trek: First Contact, 2.65 (3)
  32. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, 2.65 (3)
  33. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, 2.57 (3)
  34. The Dark Knight Rises, 2.57 (3)
  35. Alien 3, 2.52 (3)
  36. For Your Eyes Only, 2.48 (3)
  37. Creed, 2.48 (3)
  38. Blade Runner, 2.43 (3)
  39. Fatal Attraction, 2.43 (3)
  40. Spectre, 2.43 (3)
  41. Alien, 2.22 (3)
  42. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 2.22 (3)
  43. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 2.22 (3)
  44. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 2 even
  45. Superman II, 1.91 (2)
  46. Batman Begins, 1.91 (2)
  47. Rambo III, 1.78 (2)
  48. Rocky IV, 1.74 (2)
  49. The Man with the Golden Gun, 1.39 (2)

And here’s the running list of movies, ranked by how fast they got me drunk:

  1. Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 1.19
  2. You Only Live Twice, 1.08
  3. Star Trek: Nemesis, 1.04
  4. Batman (1966), 1.03
  5. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 1
  6. The Spy Who Loved Me, 0.99
  7. Moonraker, 0.98
  8. Tango & Cash, 0.92
  9. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, 0.85
  10. Iron Man 3, 0.83
  11. RoboCop (1987), 0.82
  12. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 0.8
  13. GoldenEye, 0.75
  14. Octopussy, 0.74
  15. Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 0.73
  16. The Fifth Element, 0.73
  17. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, 0.7
  18. The World Is Not Enough, 0.7
  19. Tomorrow Never Dies, 0.67
  20. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, 0.65
  21. Blade, 0.64
  22. X2: X-Men United, 0.61
  23. Star Trek: First Contact, 0.55
  24. The Avengers (2012), 0.54
  25. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, 0.54
  26. Die Another Day, 0.53
  27. The Living Daylights, 0.53
  28. Highlander, 0.53
  29. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, 0.51
  30. Captain America: The First Avenger, 0.5
  31. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, 0.5
  32. Skyfall, 0.48
  33. Blade Runner, 0.48
  34. Fatal Attraction, 0.47
  35. For Your Eyes Only, 0.45
  36. Alien, 0.44
  37. Rocky IV, 0.44
  38. Creed, 0.43
  39. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 0.43
  40. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 0.43
  41. Rambo III, 0.41
  42. Alien 3, 0.4
  43. Spectre, 0.38
  44. Superman II, 0.38
  45. The Patriot (2000), 0.37
  46. The Dark Knight Rises, 0.37
  47. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 0.36
  48. Batman Begins, 0.31
  49. The Man with the Golden Gun, 0.26

I could go on and on and on about Hayley Atwell, but I’m sure I’ve come across as a creeper by now, so I’ll move on. Next up, my second-favorite Ah-nuld movie, a film that is becoming more and more relevant as time goes on, 1987’s The Running Man. Prepare to enter the game zone…

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