New Nightmare

Posted on by thecodeman92

After the financial success of The Final Nightmare, New Line decided to continue the series. However, since Final Nightmare definitively killed Freddy, they decided to try something new. When Wes Craven came back to the Nightmare on Elm Street series to co-write the third installment, Dream Warriors, his initial draft featured Freddy Kruger being a real-life dream demon who was scaring not the characters, but the actors themselves (i.e. Heather Langenkamp and John Saxon playing themselves instead of Nancy and Don Thompson). The producers at New Line thought it was too meta, and passed on the idea. Almost a decade later, Craven was given the chance to make his meta-movie, in the form of 1994’s New Nightmare. The plot is too involved and confusing to go into with any detail, so here’s a quick premise: a real dream demon takes the guise of Freddy Krueger and begins haunting the dreams of Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon, Robert Englund, and Wes Craven himself, as well as Heather’s young son (not played by her actual son), and they have to stop him. The whole movie is a send-up, a homage, and a fresh take on the Nightmare series all at once, and I love it for that. Unfortunately, no one else did. New Nightmare is the lowest-grossing of the whole series. Even though it was a fresh take, seven films in ten years creates a great deal of franchise fatigue. There wouldn’t be another Nightmare film for nine years, unfortunately. Shame.

Here’s the breakdown:

  1. A scene or dialogue mimics the original Nightmare: 8
  2. An original Nightmare actor or behind the scenes person pops up: 10
  3. Someone dies: 4
  4. The preceding Nightmare films are seen or mentioned: 4
  5. “Demon” is said: 3
  6. Freddy’s glove/claw hand is seen: 15
  7. A toy dinosaur is seen: 11
  8. An inanimate object attacks someone: 3

Total: 58

So, with a total of 58 sips, and 23 sips per bottle, that comes out to 2.52 beers drank. As I do not waste beer, I round that up to 3. And as the runtime of New Nightmare is 112 minutes, I drank at a rate of 0.52 sips per minute.

Here’s the running list of movies, ranked by amount of beer drank:

  1. Machete Kills, 6 even
  2. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 5.78 (6)
  3. You Only Live Twice, 5.48 (6)
  4. The Spy Who Loved Me, 5.39 (6)
  5. Moonraker, 5.35 (6)
  6. Star Trek: Nemesis, 5.26 (6)
  7. Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 5.09 (6)
  8. Iron Man 3, 4.7 (5)
  9. Aliens, 4.7 (5)
  10. Batman (1966), 4.65 (5)
  11. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, 4.48 (5)
  12. GoldenEye, 4.26 (5)
  13. Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 4.22 (5)
  14. Octopussy, 4.09 (5)
  15. Tango & Cash, 4.04 (5)
  16. The Fifth Element, 4 even
  17. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, 4 even
  18. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 3.91 (4)
  19. The World Is Not Enough, 3.91 (4)
  20. RoboCop (1987), 3.87 (4)
  21. Jaws, 3.57
  22. X2: X-Men United, 3.52 (4)
  23. The Thing (1982), 3.48 (4)
  24. Tomorrow Never Dies, 3.48 (4)
  25. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, 3.48 (4)
  26. Blade, 3.35 (4)
  27. The Avengers (2012), 3.35 (4)
  28. Die Another Day, 3.09 (4)
  29. The Living Daylights, 3.04 (4)
  30. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, 3.04 (4)
  31. Skyfall, 2.96 (3)
  32. The Patriot (2000), 2.83 (3)
  33. Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, 2.74 (3)
  34. Highlander, 2.7 (3)
  35. Captain America: The First Avenger, 2.7 (3)
  36. Star Trek: First Contact, 2.65 (3)
  37. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, 2.65 (3)
  38. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, 2.57 (3)
  39. The Dark Knight Rises, 2.57 (3)
  40. New Nightmare, 2.52 (3)
  41. Alien 3, 2.52 (3)
  42. For Your Eyes Only, 2.48 (3)
  43. Creed, 2.48 (3)
  44. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, 2.43 (3)
  45. Blade Runner, 2.43 (3)
  46. Fatal Attraction, 2.43 (3)
  47. Spectre, 2.43 (3)
  48. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), 2.3 (3)
  49. The Running Man, 2.26 (3)
  50. Alien, 2.22 (3)
  51. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 2.22 (3)
  52. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 2.22 (3)
  53. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, 2.09 (3)
  54. A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, 2.04 (3)
  55. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 2 even
  56. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, 1.91 (2)
  57. Superman II, 1.91 (2)
  58. The Silence of the Lambs, 1.91 (2)
  59. Batman Begins, 1.91 (2)
  60. Rambo III, 1.78 (2)
  61. Rocky IV, 1.74 (2)
  62. The Man with the Golden Gun, 1.39 (2)

And here’s the running list of movies, ranked by how fast they got me drunk:

  1. Machete Kills, 1.25
  2. Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 1.19
  3. You Only Live Twice, 1.08
  4. Star Trek: Nemesis, 1.04
  5. Batman (1966), 1.03
  6. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 1
  7. The Spy Who Loved Me, 0.99
  8. Moonraker, 0.98
  9. Tango & Cash, 0.92
  10. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, 0.85
  11. Iron Man 3, 0.83
  12. RoboCop (1987), 0.82
  13. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 0.8
  14. GoldenEye, 0.75
  15. Octopussy, 0.74
  16. Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 0.73
  17. The Fifth Element, 0.73
  18. The Thing (1982), 0.73
  19. Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, 0.71
  20. Aliens, 0.7
  21. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, 0.7
  22. The World Is Not Enough, 0.7
  23. Tomorrow Never Dies, 0.67
  24. Jaws, 0.66
  25. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, 0.65
  26. Blade, 0.64
  27. X2: X-Men United, 0.61
  28. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, 0.58
  29. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), 0.58
  30. Star Trek: First Contact, 0.55
  31. The Avengers (2012), 0.54
  32. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, 0.54
  33. Die Another Day, 0.53
  34. The Living Daylights, 0.53
  35. Highlander, 0.53
  36. New Nightmare, 0.52
  37. A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, 0.52
  38. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, 0.52
  39. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, 0.52
  40. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, 0.51
  41. The Running Man, 0.51
  42. Captain America: The First Avenger, 0.5
  43. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, 0.5
  44. Skyfall, 0.48
  45. Blade Runner, 0.48
  46. Fatal Attraction, 0.47
  47. For Your Eyes Only, 0.45
  48. Alien, 0.44
  49. Rocky IV, 0.44
  50. Creed, 0.43
  51. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 0.43
  52. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 0.43
  53. Rambo III, 0.41
  54. Alien 3, 0.4
  55. Spectre, 0.38
  56. Superman II, 0.38
  57. The Patriot (2000), 0.37
  58. The Dark Knight Rises, 0.37
  59. The Silence of the Lambs, 0.37
  60. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 0.36
  61. Batman Begins, 0.31
  62. The Man with the Golden Gun, 0.26

Next up, the final entry in my favorite horror series, 2003’s Freddy vs. Jason. Man the torpedoes!

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  1. Pingback: New Nightmare — Beer. Movies. Fun. – horrorcontinued

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