A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

Posted on by thecodeman92

Horror sequels don’t have a good reputation, usually for good reason. They usually aren’t as good as the original, but make money, leading to more and more and more sequels. Friday the 13th Part II, Halloween II (1980), and Hellbound: Hellraiser II are good examples. 1985’s A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge is no exception. It made almost $40 million at the box office against a $3 million budget, so it was undeniably a financial success. Critically, however…not that great. It takes place five years after the events of the first film, with another family moving into 1428 Elm Street (of course). The teenage son of the family, Jesse, begins having nightmares, starring everyone’s favorite burn victim, Freddy Krueger. Instead of killing Jesse, though, Freddy wants the teen to kill for him. Jesse blacks out at one point, leading to the murder of his gym teacher (after a really weird late-night gay bar encounter). Jesse’s girlfriend Lisa and friend Grady try to help him, but Jesse eventually blacks out and kills Grady, after a pool party where we see some boobies (you really didn’t think I would just gloss over that, did you?). Freddy completely takes over Jesse’s body and starts massacring the teens at the pool party, escaping when confronted with the business end of a shotgun. Lisa chases Freddy to the ruins of the old factory where he worked and was initially killed. In a really weird finale, Lisa kisses Freddy, which causes him to turn to ash, freeing Jesse from his control. Freddy is now dead, for good…or is he?

I don’t particularly care for this entry in the venerable franchise. Only one good one-liner and a few okay kills, but nothing that stands out. This film also has a reputation as having several homosexual overtones, a reputation which is well-deserved. I’m not going to list out all of the relevant scenes here, so go watch the movie yourself. It’s not a problem for me, I don’t really care, but I figured it was worth a mention.

Here’s the breakdown:

  1. Exterior shot of the house: 5
  2. Homosexual overtone: 6
  3. Sex is mentioned/happening: 7
  4. Something is so ridiculously 80s: 8
  5. A rake: 3
  6. Someone dies: 7
  7. Someone wakes up sweating: 5
  8. Freddy is happy: 3

Total: 44

So, with a total of 44 sips, and 23 sips per bottle, that comes out to 1.91 beers drank. As I do not waste beer, I round that up to 2. And as the runtime of Freddy’s Revenge is 85 minutes, I drank at a rate of 0.52 sips per minute.

Here’s the running list of movies, ranked by amount of beer drank:

  1. Machete Kills, 6 even
  2. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 5.78 (6)
  3. You Only Live Twice, 5.48 (6)
  4. The Spy Who Loved Me, 5.39 (6)
  5. Moonraker, 5.35 (6)
  6. Star Trek: Nemesis, 5.26 (6)
  7. Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 5.09 (6)
  8. Iron Man 3, 4.7 (5)
  9. Aliens, 4.7 (5)
  10. Batman (1966), 4.65 (5)
  11. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, 4.48 (5)
  12. GoldenEye, 4.26 (5)
  13. Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 4.22 (5)
  14. Octopussy, 4.09 (5)
  15. Tango & Cash, 4.04 (5)
  16. The Fifth Element, 4 even
  17. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, 4 even
  18. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 3.91 (4)
  19. The World Is Not Enough, 3.91 (4)
  20. RoboCop (1987), 3.87 (4)
  21. Jaws, 3.57
  22. X2: X-Men United, 3.52 (4)
  23. The Thing (1982), 3.48 (4)
  24. Tomorrow Never Dies, 3.48 (4)
  25. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, 3.48 (4)
  26. Blade, 3.35 (4)
  27. The Avengers (2012), 3.35 (4)
  28. Die Another Day, 3.09 (4)
  29. The Living Daylights, 3.04 (4)
  30. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, 3.04 (4)
  31. Skyfall, 2.96 (3)
  32. The Patriot (2000), 2.83 (3)
  33. Highlander, 2.7 (3)
  34. Captain America: The First Avenger, 2.7 (3)
  35. Star Trek: First Contact, 2.65 (3)
  36. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, 2.65 (3)
  37. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, 2.57 (3)
  38. The Dark Knight Rises, 2.57 (3)
  39. Alien 3, 2.52 (3)
  40. For Your Eyes Only, 2.48 (3)
  41. Creed, 2.48 (3)
  42. Blade Runner, 2.43 (3)
  43. Fatal Attraction, 2.43 (3)
  44. Spectre, 2.43 (3)
  45. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), 2.3 (3)
  46. The Running Man, 2.26 (3)
  47. Alien, 2.22 (3)
  48. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 2.22 (3)
  49. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 2.22 (3)
  50. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 2 even
  51. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, 1.91 (2)
  52. Superman II, 1.91 (2)
  53. The Silence of the Lambs, 1.91 (2)
  54. Batman Begins, 1.91 (2)
  55. Rambo III, 1.78 (2)
  56. Rocky IV, 1.74 (2)
  57. The Man with the Golden Gun, 1.39 (2)

And here’s the running list of movies, ranked by how fast they got me drunk:

  1. Machete Kills, 1.25
  2. Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 1.19
  3. You Only Live Twice, 1.08
  4. Star Trek: Nemesis, 1.04
  5. Batman (1966), 1.03
  6. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 1
  7. The Spy Who Loved Me, 0.99
  8. Moonraker, 0.98
  9. Tango & Cash, 0.92
  10. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, 0.85
  11. Iron Man 3, 0.83
  12. RoboCop (1987), 0.82
  13. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 0.8
  14. GoldenEye, 0.75
  15. Octopussy, 0.74
  16. Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 0.73
  17. The Fifth Element, 0.73
  18. The Thing (1982), 0.73
  19. Aliens, 0.7
  20. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, 0.7
  21. The World Is Not Enough, 0.7
  22. Tomorrow Never Dies, 0.67
  23. Jaws, 0.66
  24. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, 0.65
  25. Blade, 0.64
  26. X2: X-Men United, 0.61
  27. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), 0.58
  28. Star Trek: First Contact, 0.55
  29. The Avengers (2012), 0.54
  30. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, 0.54
  31. Die Another Day, 0.53
  32. The Living Daylights, 0.53
  33. Highlander, 0.53
  34. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, 0.52
  35. Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, 0.51
  36. The Running Man, 0.51
  37. Captain America: The First Avenger, 0.5
  38. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, 0.5
  39. Skyfall, 0.48
  40. Blade Runner, 0.48
  41. Fatal Attraction, 0.47
  42. For Your Eyes Only, 0.45
  43. Alien, 0.44
  44. Rocky IV, 0.44
  45. Creed, 0.43
  46. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 0.43
  47. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, 0.43
  48. Rambo III, 0.41
  49. Alien 3, 0.4
  50. Spectre, 0.38
  51. Superman II, 0.38
  52. The Patriot (2000), 0.37
  53. The Dark Knight Rises, 0.37
  54. The Silence of the Lambs, 0.37
  55. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 0.36
  56. Batman Begins, 0.31
  57. The Man with the Golden Gun, 0.26

Next up, the next entry in the franchise, 1987’s A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Welcome to primetime, bitches…

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